Five Years Ago

Five years ago today, my mom passed away. It was sudden, shocking, tragic, but not surprising. Whenever I think about not having my mom around anymore, I think of other friends who have also lost their moms. Most often, I consider Andrea, who lost her mom to Alzheimer's, a cruel, unforgiving illness; or Eve, who's mom committed suicide, as well; or my husband and his siblings, who lost their mom unexpectedly three years ago. I think of all the people I don't know who have lost their moms to terrible circumstances. And all the wars and mean people who steal others' lives.

I think of the beautiful acts of kindness that were shown to our family when people found out my mom was gone. Tiffany W. and her parents sent a beautiful bouquet for the funeral. Amanda D.'s parents purchased a gorgeous casket spray and came up for the funeral. Amanda picked up my wet tissues that I had dropped on the pew, not knowing what to do with them when we had to exit, and quietly disposed of them for me. Some of my brother's friends from Hawaii sent a lei for my mom's gravestone. Andrea wrote me a note telling me some kind words my mom shared with her one time, and other fond memories she had of her. Becky W. brought over a lovely framed print of an angel sending a child off to earth. (I identified with that because I was just waiting for one more week to take a pregnancy test so I could let my family know we were expecting Thomas.) Not only Lacey II ward, but it seemed like the entire stake, provided more food than we knew what to do with, and put together a lovely reception for our families after the service. More people than I know of came from all over to help out and show their love and concern for us.

I learned a lot from my mom's passing. I learned to always tell people you love them; you never know when you won't be able to do so anymore. I learned to forgive quickly and not worry so much about things (though, honestly, that one is easier said than done). I learned that the mom is the nucleus of the family; her absence leaves a huge whole in the center. I learned that you're never too old to be devastated by the loss of your child. And I learned that 60 is actually pretty young to die; There is a lot of life to live after 60.

I hope that those of you who have moms alive still will call them and tell them how much you love them. Write them a note, or take them out on a date. Take lots of pictures, and create fond memories. Hug them. And those of you who are moms, take care of yourselves so you will be around for a long time for your children, physically, spiritually, and mentally. They need you.